Sometime in April, 2011...
Sitting on the couch at my mom’s house . She tells me that she is down 3 lbs and is really excited about the way she’s doing it. A few weeks prior, she had told me that she and her sisters are reading Made to Crave but I hadn’t given it much thought. I certainly wasn’t interested in reading it. Tonight she tells me that she thinks this "Get-Skinny-Go-Round" might actually be different.
Our conversation loosely went like this:
Amy: This whole thing is different because I feel like I'm not having as many **battles** as I usually do. When I saw the Suzy Q I knew that it wasn't on my food plan so I didn't even think about eating it!
Erin's Inner Monologue: Well, I am not going to give up Suzy Q's.... I just want to lose weight and eat Suzy Q's at the same time.
Erin's Voice: Oh. Cool. Good for you. I definitely still want Suzy Q's.
Amy: It has become so clear to me that overeating is like looking at Jesus my savior, beaten, bloody, and dying on the cross and then turning around to the table behind me to say loving things to my precious Suzy Q. I am choosing a friendship with my Suzie Q instead of a friendship with my Lord, who DIED for me, unlike my Suzie Q, who I am pretty sure would never do that ....
Erin's Inner Monologue: Oh come on, don't bring God into it. Isn't that a little extreme? Eating a Suzy Q isn't sinful.
Erin's Voice: So, you can't ever have a Suzy Q again, if you want to obey God?
Amy: No, that's not it. I'm changing. I've realized that I would rather be with God than have a Suzy Q.
Erin's Inner Monologue: Hm. Honestly, most days I would rather eat a Suzy Q. And I like wanting to eat Suzy Q's. They are fun. And yummy. And comforting. I don't want to not want them.
Erin's Voice: Well, good luck with that. It sounds like a good diet for you.
Amy: It's funny, because this book isn't actually a diet. It's more of a "how to" diet. But even then, she strongly encourages us not to diet. She addresses the issues we all have of knowing what we're supposed to do, but not wanting to do it. She talks about the days when you just want to eat everything in the whole world.
Erin's Inner Monologue: Really? She said "wanting to eat everything in the whole world..." she knows about my preferred diet plan!
Amy: She describes how God designed our bodies to crave. But he wants us to crave him. I can't even count the number of times I wasn't sure what I wanted to eat so I dug through the cupboards until I found chocolate chips, but half an hour later I went back to the chocolate chips because they didn't fill the craving.
Erin: Yeah... I'm always saying "I want to consume something... but what?"
Amy: Exactly. We recognize that we are craving something, but we keep misdiagnosing it with food! Which is why we are always going back for it!
Erin: So...I'm confused again. Eating is wrong? Food is sinful?
Amy: No. We are allowed to eat. And we are allowed to enjoy what we're eating. That's why we have "Food Plans" instead of diets.Our food plan is a realistic plan of healthy day to day eating. If we're eating something that isn't on our food plan, then it's a fleshly desire- a craving.
Erin's Inner Monologue: So right now, I'm really wanting that left over pizza. But I'm not hungry for it, I can just hear it calling my name. Would eating it be wrong? I don't care, I'm going to go get that pizza. I'll eat it in the kitchen so my mom doesn't know.
Erin: Wow, Mom. This definitely sounds optimistic. I hope it works for you.
I still didn't want to bring God into dietary habits. I purposefully put him from my mind and tried eating any and all food ignoring the ideas that my mom planted. But as I was opening different cupboards and checking the freezer again for a snack I kept being reminded that my body might be calling out for something else. I began thinking about my body as a different entity from my soul. I thought about Jesus entering Jerusalem the week before he died as people hailed and rejoiced in him. He told his disciples, "If [the people] keep quiet, the rocks and the trees will cry out." (Luke 19:40) In the same way, my body was crying out to God because I (my soul) was not.
By the end of the week I wasn't sure if I could continue to ignore my bodily cravings and maintain my current relationship with God.
Please email me as you take your journey and I pray that God will revolutionize our hearts together.
erinconfesses@yahoo.com
Erin's Inner Monologue: Hm. Honestly, most days I would rather eat a Suzy Q. And I like wanting to eat Suzy Q's. They are fun. And yummy. And comforting. I don't want to not want them.
Erin's Voice: Well, good luck with that. It sounds like a good diet for you.
Amy: It's funny, because this book isn't actually a diet. It's more of a "how to" diet. But even then, she strongly encourages us not to diet. She addresses the issues we all have of knowing what we're supposed to do, but not wanting to do it. She talks about the days when you just want to eat everything in the whole world.
Erin's Inner Monologue: Really? She said "wanting to eat everything in the whole world..." she knows about my preferred diet plan!
Amy: She describes how God designed our bodies to crave. But he wants us to crave him. I can't even count the number of times I wasn't sure what I wanted to eat so I dug through the cupboards until I found chocolate chips, but half an hour later I went back to the chocolate chips because they didn't fill the craving.
Erin: Yeah... I'm always saying "I want to consume something... but what?"
Amy: Exactly. We recognize that we are craving something, but we keep misdiagnosing it with food! Which is why we are always going back for it!
Erin: So...I'm confused again. Eating is wrong? Food is sinful?
Amy: No. We are allowed to eat. And we are allowed to enjoy what we're eating. That's why we have "Food Plans" instead of diets.Our food plan is a realistic plan of healthy day to day eating. If we're eating something that isn't on our food plan, then it's a fleshly desire- a craving.
Erin's Inner Monologue: So right now, I'm really wanting that left over pizza. But I'm not hungry for it, I can just hear it calling my name. Would eating it be wrong? I don't care, I'm going to go get that pizza. I'll eat it in the kitchen so my mom doesn't know.
Erin: Wow, Mom. This definitely sounds optimistic. I hope it works for you.
I still didn't want to bring God into dietary habits. I purposefully put him from my mind and tried eating any and all food ignoring the ideas that my mom planted. But as I was opening different cupboards and checking the freezer again for a snack I kept being reminded that my body might be calling out for something else. I began thinking about my body as a different entity from my soul. I thought about Jesus entering Jerusalem the week before he died as people hailed and rejoiced in him. He told his disciples, "If [the people] keep quiet, the rocks and the trees will cry out." (Luke 19:40) In the same way, my body was crying out to God because I (my soul) was not.
By the end of the week I wasn't sure if I could continue to ignore my bodily cravings and maintain my current relationship with God.
Please email me as you take your journey and I pray that God will revolutionize our hearts together.
erinconfesses@yahoo.com
**Glutton's Dictionary**
Battle: Strongly desiring a particular food but knowing that you shouldn't eat it.
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