Dieting: If at First You Don't Succeed, Find Another Diet... or Just Eat a Twinkie

Lysa's book is not the final, end-of-cellulite, look-no-further diet plan. It is a guide through your own personal diet plan. But she actually wants us to throw out our "diets." Diets don't work.  To quote her: "My changes were always temporary, so my results were always temporary"(38).  It seems silly to state the obvious, but for some reason I have a hard time absorbing the obvious, which is that the real solution is a lifestyle change. Ugh.
Alright. So step one of the lifestyle change: evaluate a healthy food plan that I can maintain for the rest of my life.
Before we set up our food plans, she asks us some questions:

If you were to plot out your usual diet plan what does it look like?

Beginning: I sit down with my graphs and charts, and make a grocery list. I plan out salads and proteins and fruit snacks. I get very excited to finally be doing something about my weight.

Middle: There is no middle.

End: I avoid the healthy fruits and veggies, planning on enjoying my last day (Er- days) of freedom, until they are too old to eat. When I discover that the food has (finally) gotten bad, I hide a smile as I throw it all out. As I walk away from the garbage can, a form of depression hits. I eat some of my favorite foods- maybe to soothe my spirits, maybe out of defiance to the diet- and give myself a pep talk promising that I won't stay this size forever, eventually something is going to happen and I am going to be skinny again. Somehow. Then I effectively close off my mind to the ideas that I even have a problem with food.

What is your biggest fear about choosing or following a food plan?
I fear feeling deprived all the time. I fear not eating all my favorite foods whenever I want to. I fear giving up baking a batch of cookies once a week and I fear going out to eat and not dipping my fries in mayo. Those are such fun surprises that I give myself. Those things are something to look forward to in my day. Without them life will be depressing instead of fun.

Which is why my entire body starting rioting when I read Lysa's food plan:

• Limited Carbs
• Limited Starch
• Allowed: Low-Fat Meat
• Allowed: Fruits and Veggies

The plan I decided for myself seems so free in comparison; it allows me to not change my shopping lists and to feed my two year old without cooking two meals. It caters to me and my specific needs. I had to narrow in my biggest issues with overeating so I could pinpoint where to begin with my food plan. My biggest problem is not obeying my body when it tells me it doesn't need anymore food. If someone says dinnertime, that means I need to eat dinner, whether or not I am licking my fingers having consumed half a bag of Doritos; or if JJ surprises me with a special ice cream treat, I can't just let it go to waste even though I'm not feeling hungry, because apparently I would rather go up a pant size than waste $1.19 and see that beautiful Twix Ice Cream Bar in the garbage can.

So my food plan looks like this:

• Eat ONLY when my stomach is growling hungry.
• Eat ONLY one serving at a time (yes, I need to measure out my cereal, pasta, and ice cream with my 3/4 cup measuring cups).
• NO cakes.
• NO cookies.
• NO deep-fried foods.
• NO pastry/ quick breads

It took my a long time to commit to write the No-No foods.
This food plan is suppose to be life-long, but in all honesty, once I reach my goal weight I am going to allow myself the No-No foods (within the structure of the first two rules). 

So what now?
Now it's time for step two. Which is sticking to that plan. Now that I know what I am allowed to eat and when I am allowed to eat it, anything off of that plan is a **fleshly indulgence**.
Popping the last of Tommy's muffin in my mouth: a fleshly indulgence.
Taking a bite of macaroni from the serving spoon right after I stir up the butter and cheese: a fleshly indulgence.
Not measuring my portions because I'm at a birthday party: a fleshly indulgence.
I had to call my mom a lot the first couple of weeks because I had a hard time understanding exactly what was so wrong with fleshly indulgences. 
We talked about Exodus 20: 3-4, "You may have no other gods before me. You may not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in the heavens above, the earth beneath, or the waters below. You may not bow down to them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God." I always took those to be about wooden statues or the sun or a cow. But it's bigger than that. Websters dictionary describes idolatry as "the worship of a picture or object as a god." Worship is defined as 1)"the act of showing respect and love for a god (especially by praying with other worshipers)" and 2) "excessive admiration." To bow is "to cease from competition or resistance."
This verse is no longer about lost Israelite's making golden calves. Its about walking by a buffet of food and it calling out to me. It all looks yummy. But I'm not hungry. But I love that food. I love how it tastes. It feels harder and harder to say NO to that food. Eventually the craving of my tongue is louder than my full belly and I cease to resist this temptation. I have now bowed to something I admire, and it was not the Creator of the universe. I have let food control my actions. I have committed idolatry.
My mom talked about the imagery she uses to remind her about what those fleshly indulgences actually are. She sees Jesus- her savior, her friend, her replacement on the cross- on his throne, and when she eats something that is not on her food plan she is taking Jesus off of his throne and putting that Suzy Q in his place.
The imagery that I use now, and it makes my knees buckle sometimes, is Jesus on the cross, broken and dying. Next to him is a table with the last of Tommy's muffin on it. And if I choose to pop that muffin into my mouth I am bowing down and worshipping that bite of muffin instead Jesus. As he watches.

We each need to find our own way of understanding this battle between God and food. What's yours?

Please email me as you take your journey and I pray that God will revolutionize our hearts together.
erinconfesses@yahoo.com

**Glutton's Dictionary**

Fleshly Indulgence: Taking unrestrained pleasure