How Much Do Socks Really Weigh?

Number, Numbers, Numbers. I suppose that after all this talk about getting the food obsessions under control you're all wondering how the numbers are looking? I would gladly publicize my numbers except that I don't know if they will do any good. Lysa points out that to some, my number may be "horrifyingly high" and to others is may be a "dream weight." Either way, the actual numbers themselves might be more of an encouragement if they are kept secret.  I will say that I have lost 37 pounds at this point and I am five pounds away from my "dream" weight-which I thought was just a crazy dream. I am a nursing mother, (which is a big reason I didn't choose to count calories as my food plan) so the weight fell off fairly quickly once I started obeying what it was asking for and how much of it it wanted. Losing those pounds so quickly really helped me stay focused and encouraged every week. I don't think I could have effectively changed my mind so quickly without the immediate reward of the weight loss. Which is why I applaud my mom with a standing ovation. She has lost 30 pounds and she has had to struggle with the weight coming off more slowly or not coming off at all for periods of time (that seemed to drag on forever).  If there was a week when my number hadn't gone down I would have to spend a lot of time focusing on the bigger picture and there were times when I just wanted to give up (another lie from Satan: "You're not losing weight anymore, what's the point of obeying if you're not losing weight....") In comparison my mom has stayed focused even as her accountability partner drew a steeper line down the weight graph than she gets to. That takes some serious resolve.
Usually after the weekly weigh-in we would have to remind ourselves of the real issues of Made to Crave and the whole food battle.The real issue is the heart issue. I laugh as I write that because when I began opening my mind up to Made to Crave I was motivated solely and exclusively by weight loss. I couldn't imagine anything else surpassing that. As I went through the book and I began to realize that I made food an idol, I also realized that I have two additional pedestals in my life that are as big an issue as food is. The first biggie is shopping (oh, boy!- there is a completely different Pandora's box!) and the next was weight loss. I wanted to weigh myself every day, and sometimes twice a day. I wanted to measure my successes and failures based on the numbers on the scale, and I often stepped off the scale to shed what weight I could in the bathroom, nurse my baby, and de-robe to see if I could get those numbers to change. I ended up adding a rule to my food plan, and that was that I am only allow to weigh myself once a week. The week I added that rule, I realized just how often my thoughts wondered about my weight. It could absolutely be classified as an obsession. Lysa devotes a whole chapter to this persuasion. She challenges us to ask ourselves a list of questions to gauge our successes instead of using the numbers on the scale. These questions are taken from the Participants Guide (72):

• Did I overeat this week on any day?
• Did I eat in secret or out of anger or frustration?
• Did I feel that, at any time, I ran to food instead of God?
• Before I hopped on the scale, did I think I'd had a successful, God-pleasing week?

I had a handful of weeks when I answered these questions as a failure and I still had lost some weight. As happy as I was that the numbers changed, I still felt embarrassed and ashamed. I felt like I was still in bondage to food, and I took very little joy out of the weight loss that week.

Lysa writes that at one point she felt like God was saying to her: "I am not taking you on this journey because I need you to weigh less. I am taking you on this journey because I desire you to be healthy in every sense of the word" (71).  So when I would step on the scale after a "fail" week, and I would have lost a pound or two, I would turn a corner of my mouth down, bow my head humbly, offer a bashful thank you to God, and realize even more that the real issues of my food battle, is my obedience to him.

Please email me as you take your journey and I pray that God will revolutionize our hearts together.
erinconfesses@yahoo.com